My Father and I have been in negotiations recently. Well, I’ve been trying to negotiate, anyway. My Father just stated His point of view and is waiting for me to come around. You know the conversation?
I think it would be a good idea if you…
You’re right, Father. I should do that.
Do you need help?
No…thank you. I think I’d like to figure it out.
Okay. I’m here if you need me. I love you.
Thanks. I love you, too.
Father, do you know what would be a really great idea? There’s this thing I want to do…what do you think?
That does sound like an interesting idea. Have you done what I asked you to do yet?
You know I haven’t. I’m sorry. It just didn’t seem like the right time for that yet. I’ll do that, but the pieces are all in place to do this other thing now. What do you think?
Why are you asking me what I think when you already know the answer?
I know…I just don’t think I’m ready to do that yet. It’s not that I won’t do it. I want to because you want me to. I know it’s going to turn out great because your plans always do…I just can’t right now. It’s a lot to do.
It is a lot, but I wouldn’t have suggested you do it if I didn’t know you could. You don’t have to do it alone.
I know. As soon as I get this other thing going, I’ll get right on that. I want to be ready to do it alone. I know I don’t have to, but I don’t want to be weak.
Father, I’m in trouble. I’ve messed up so much. Things have gone from bad to worse. I know it’s all my fault and I’m sorry. I hate to come to you for help when I’m in such bad shape — when I didn’t come before — but I don’t know what else to do. Will you help me?
Of course I’ll help. I love you. All you have to do is ask.
Thank you. I love you, too. I’m sorry, I haven’t even done what you asked me to do. I got so busy trying to do other things…
I know. I won’t say it’s okay, but I forgive you. I love you. I’ll help you anyway.
Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for helping me.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Unfortunately, my conversations have been pretty boring lately. Something along the lines of “Second verse, same as the first”. It’s time to quit. It’s time to get back into the conversation in a real way, and do what I’m supposed to do — before God breaks out the cosmic baseball bat. The fact is that I’ve been avoiding my own blog for too long and am totally ignoring my feed reader.
Think. Procrastinate. Think.
It started out fun. I enjoyed writing. I had goals and deadlines…I had a plan. I had the “Verse of the Day” placed prominently on my posts, and I was happy with whatever I felt like writing. Then I started trying to get more professional. I moved from Blogspot to a self-hosted WordPress blog – with a custom theme – and I started thinking too much. “Do you really want this Bible verse on here?” my designer asked. “You don’t have control over it. What if it puts up a verse that offends people?” So, the verse appears on one page, and not on posts…and at the bottom, not near the top of the page…and I’m worrying about offending people. Is that the way it’s supposed to be?
Duck. Cover. Refrain.
It’s not my designer’s fault. He just asked a question — a question that I should have been prepared to answer, but wasn’t. Instead I started spending more and more time “in my head”, wondering what I could write about — no longer happy with my business blog. The redesign stretched into eternity and still I wasn’t active. Then I reached a point where I couldn’t just keep bookmarking posts to come back and comment on (when Commentluv would reveal a fresh post). I quit reading blogs (much).
Can’t justify reading someone else’s work when you haven’t written your own, right?
Write. Procrastinate. Delete.
I wasn’t writing because I’d lost my direction. The blog wasn’t fun any more, and I didn’t know what to do about it. Well, I did know, but I didn’t really want to go that way. Talk about taking a chance on offending people. What if people thought I was trying to use God to get business? What if people were afraid of doing business with me because I talked about God on my blog? What if I was way out in left field and had the wrong idea about this whole thing anyway?
Pray. Believe. Write.
Well, here it is. Here’s my first step toward doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m not talking about evangelizing because…well, I’m just not. God has done a lot for me and it’s time I start letting people know about it. It’s time to stop stumbling over the words in Psalm 40:
I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly
I do not seal my lips as you know, O Lord
Preach. Thump. Roll.
Please don’t think that I’m going to start preaching at you. That’s not my calling. I’m also not planning to make every post a devotional. This is just me, talking about life as I see it with a focus on business…and God is part of that. He may be mentioned from time to time, more than once… I’m just letting you know what to expect. I’m unsealing my lips, or at least my fingertips.
God is good! Got a problem with that?
The “cosmic baseball bat” is referred to in a novel by Andrew Greeley, Patience of a Saint. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been “whacked”, but I’d rather get in line before drastic measures are required.